I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
