i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
