Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
