we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
