I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
