oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Where did you get a picture of my penis
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
