Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
