Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
