omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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