its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize