that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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