What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
