She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize