i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
