You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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