You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
