why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
