So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
