Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He did a backflip because drugs
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize