We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
worst night to have a conscience
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
