we made out on top of his cat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
