I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
