Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize