good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
