Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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