I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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