I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
