Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
