i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We left the knife in your bed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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