Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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