i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
