Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
