It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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