she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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