Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
