He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
