We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
