Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
