I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
