if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will be naked everywhere
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
