wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
