All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
