I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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