mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
