I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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