I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
