Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
