Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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