You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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