OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
