i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
