Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
