and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
