so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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