he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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