the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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