so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
