It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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