Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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