Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
