So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
