I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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