she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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