so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
