I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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