I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
