You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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