I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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