I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
